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  12.16.03
Mail Tale
 
   

The trouble with selling lots of stuff on eBay is that you have to pack it all up and ship it in a timely manner, especially at this time of the year. So we packed again this morning in order to rush over to the post office before the good clerk would be out to lunch.

You pretty much get to know the personnel at your local branch, and you learn when to be there and whom to avoid. When we got there, the line was short, only two people ahead of us, and two clerks. Of course, there is a place for a third clerk. But the Post Office, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided that this is not the time to have one present.

But, our favorite clerk, E. is there. The other clerk is the "jerkess"' whom we always try to avoid. We have our strategy. If it looks like we'll end up with her, we graciously allow the person behind us to go no matter how much they have to mail. People are happy to oblige because they have no idea what they are getting into.

Today was no exception.

The woman in front of us got B. Now, this woman sort of deserved what was going to happen to her, because she was one of those patrons who goes to the Post Office with her pretty little gifts all nicely wrapped in green shiny paper and fancy bows, but not yet wrapped for mailing.

What are those people thinking anyhow?

I would no more think of going to the post office with unwrapped packages than I would think of leaving the house without my shoes on a cold day. I know the P.O. now offers packaging and all that. And I know there are foreigners who probably came here from repressive countries where they were expected to show everything they mailed. I can cut them some slack. But Miss Jane Jones, 30ish, born and bred in the USA, should really know better. She can go out and purchase or scrounge up a box to pack her tiny little shiny packages in and come to the P.O. ready to mail. But, no! People like her want the clerk to tell/show them what to do, buy the packaging the post office and hold up the Christmas line getting their item ready to mail.

But, as I said she got B, so there is justice operating out there somewhere.

Now B. is the slowest clerk in practically all of the substations we've been to. And she is surly on top of it. She acts like you are imposing by bringing your business in to interrupt her day of nail gazing and candy sucking. Her fingernails are about 2 inches long, so keying in anything takes forever because she is so worried about messing up her manicure. And, if you ask for one minute more of her time than she is prepared to give, watch out.

So, Mis Jane Jones presents her pretty little green foil packages and says she needs an envelope. B shows her two, and tells her to take her pick, and pack up. Then Miss Jones says she needs stamps for her 25 cards as well. B. says, "Let's do one thing at a time, or I'll get confused. While you pack up your package, I have to go to the back and do something, and I'll be right back and we'll take care of the rest then."

Meanwhile, we have gotten the good clerk, E., who is fast and efficient and pleasant -- everything the Post Office wants in a clerk. He knows us, and he knows we always have everything in order. We even had our our own Media Mail stamp made so that we have done everything possible to make things go quickly. Today we have 23 packages. And, E. for Efficient, is racing through our packages.

Jane Jones is waiting, first patiently, and then not so patiently, as B. has still not returned from the back. (I think she is probably taking cigarette break.)

E., our clerk is still speeding along, and the line is growing. By now there must be 8-10 new people waiting. But B. is still in the back, and Jane is now calling someone on her cell phone to tell them she is sorry she is a little late, but she's tied up at the P.O.

About the time E. has the customs slip readied for our very last package, B comes out of the back room. Now, Jane can ask about getting her stamps and finish her transaction. B. is keying in numbers at the rate of 1 character every 5 seconds, and Jane is really pissed.

The people in line are all pissed.

E. is pissed because he can't stand B's inefficiency. (He specifically told us to come in before a certain time, or else we would have only B. to help us, So he is perfectly aware of her incompetence.) Now her inefficiency is going to get the customers anger directed at him.

But we had our strategy and planned ahead. Time is money! And we are the only ones who are happy. Because we are done and we're out of the Post Office, and the day is ours.

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