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September 11, 2001 was Chucks 60th birthday. I admit I was very afraid on that day and I still have fears which come to me in nightmares. But our life is relatively solitary, and lived within a smallish circle of friends, so I don't have a lot of residual fear about other attacks or anthrax and such-- even though we do live in a large city. I worry most about my kids and grand kids --  more about what their future may look like in this post 9/11 world.

For about two days after the terrorist attack, I tried to be a militant hawk, but in the end, years of thinking about peace and justice issues and thinking about how and why I had arrived at my own political stance overcame thoughts of revenge. Even though I felt that something had to be done, I still found myself standing mostly in the anti war camp. 

Although the military action seems as if it may be coming to an end now, this still seems like an impossible "war" to "win." Whatever "win" means. Without major foreign policy changes, honest efforts to improve our image in the Mid-east and other countries, and real efforts to work worldwide to raise people out of poverty everywhere,  I don't see things improving substantially in the near future. As one terrorist dies, ten others will be cultivated to take his place. Unfortunately, unless we work hard to educate people and address issues of hatred of one group for another around the world--and that means here, too--I think we will have to worry about the evil doers, (as the cowboy calls them) for a very, very long time to come. 

I do hope that some more creative and peaceful methods can be implemented to solve the problems in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and India, and elsewhere in the region.

I'm very concerned about how our own civil liberties may suffer, and I don't want to give up that which was so hard won back in the 60s and 70s.Right now, I fear this administration may actually using this war to further its own agenda. Manipulation of this sort from inside by our own administration is far more frightening to me than the possibility of outside terrorism.
 

On to happier old news...

This past summer, on July 3rd, my youngest son and his fiancee came here from Washington state to get married. Some of their friends, and some of her family from Idaho, came into town for the wedding, too. Despite the fact that we planned the wedding long distance, and that our families are in pretty different place politically and religiously, it all turned out well. Families met, party was held, kids were married... all pretty much without incident, except for the unexpected cab strike the day of the wedding which created some inconvenience for the wedding party and the out of town guests. Perhaps I will get around to writing about it all in more detail sooner or later...maybe with pictures, too.

They stayed here for a week or so and then they returned and moved to Seattle shortly thereafter. They talk of moving back here. We'd all be happy if they did, because our whole family would then be in the Chicago area. But I don't know if or when that might happen, so I am not getting my hopes up prematurely. 

Shortly after that wedding, my daughter and her fiancé also decided to get married next year at the end of next July. So we get to plan all over again. Were all very happy for them. I was thrilled to be able to have the opportunity and the skill to make her engagement ring, which I did quickly, along with wedding rings so that they would be done well in advance, or was it to cement the deal...hehehe. No backing out now!! And back to more wedding plans.

and more recently...

We continue to work to make the book business viable. We're selling a lot on e-Bay, some at book fairs and more to private customers. It takes a while to develop a new business but it seems like it may work out OK as long as e-Bay continues to function and as newer online options open up. Every once in a while an opportunity presents itself, whether it be a collection of books someone is selling cheaply, or a new customer calling to find a special item to complete a collection. 

In the meantime, we are still doing some jewelry orders, and any good art fairs we can still get into. Come to think of it, this year we only did one this summer, and we did not get into our good winter show, so its looking a little scary income-wise.

I continue to do some other bits of free-lance here and there. I'ts OK, but the pay is never even close to enough to be worth the time it always really takes.

the best for last...

I started taking bookbinding and book arts classes this summer in the community classes/workshops offered by Columbia College at the Center for Book and Paper Arts downtown, and I continue to do so. I really like it a lot. If I practice to learn some good binding and conservation skills that will be useful in the book business to add value to some books which would be worth the attention by doing rebacking, rebinding, repair, and such.

Oddly, though, I sometimes feel very inadequate as a student. Having been a craftsperson for so long, I put all kinds of pressure on myself to try to make the perfect book, or master any new skill, or whatever. I have to keep reminding myself over and over that this is new skill and there's no way I can expect to already know enough to do it perfectly the first time. I keep repeating my mantra. " This is a learning experience...this is just a model...next time you will know how to correct your errors... mistakes are an opportunity for creativity, etc. etc...." Now that I have done it for a few months and have read a number of books I am feeling like I will be able to achieve some degree of mastery with a lot more practice. I do know what good craftsmanship requires, at least.

But, secretly, or maybe not so secretly, its the making of artists books which keeps drawing me in...and many ideas are flowing into the long dry places previously occupied by jewelry ideas. I haven't actually made any artists books yet, but I have an entire project in mind and I do hope to begin on that soon. So far, I am still "nesting"...that is... moving things around the studio, rearranging and adjusting, and so on. In reorganizing the studio I've found that lots of tools from both our "tool museum" and the jewelry business can cross over to be useful in the book arts. I also found that a lot of the junk which I/we compulsively save will also be very useful in making artists books. 

Even though there is still a lot of "scatterd-ness" in the things I do right now, I'm really enjoying it all. For the first time in a long time, I've started to feel happy again, and I'm looking forward to coming to the studio and working on projects.

Maybe I've finally found the thing I want to be when I grow up.